i had a great time with the girls on tue.met up with loo,pee,wenting and libing.were supposed to go shopping.but we ended up talking until mos burger's closing time.until takashimaya was dark and empty and until we had to find an exit.how i wish i could have friends like them hanging out with me in school.friends who can read my mind so very well.friends who i enjoy talking to without putting on a lousy front.friends who i feel so completely at ease with.friends who are like.....gems.
and so i guess.dhs wasnt that bad isnt it.haha.
went sentosa with chris on wed.wonderful feeling to be baking in the scorching sun and crapping with my beloved neighbour.now i feel tanned enuf to be basking in the summer heat in LA.haha.
amidst all that packing frenzy, i had my thoughts drifting off occassionally.and all i ask for is the ability to trust myself.ive always allowed people around me to influence what i thought of myself, on a superficial level.i took in their opinions and comments so readily i forgot how it was like to feel a tad more confident.perhaps im too reliant on others' discretion.i dont want to be oozing with ego.i just want to be more sure of what i can achieve in my life.and i want to believe that people would love me for just who i am.i dono whether the once-bitten-twice-shy saying is most apt in this situation.because im very much unsure about the root of it all.being a 20 yr old,of course the im-gona-be-a-pretty-and-sweet-little-princess dream is all crap.i guess i wish i was a little more special.just a little.and i would be contented.
All I need is a good disguise One where nobody can recognise That I'm feeling so small All i need is a small weapon I've gotta have faith Zapping monsters into outer space I'm gonna be a superhero
pat me on my head,peck me on my cheek and tell me everything is going to be okay.
be protracted`
11:13 PM
me ai em rosanne//ennasor personal fiddles glares of the scorching sun.warmth of the oceanic waves.touch of the sand.smell of mud n field.odd-shaped rugby ball.pool dips.
